March 19, 2015
After "P" family crisis - when I went to D, to get his orders concerning the "3" sisters hanging out in foyer and nursery during service.
He said " CLEAR THE FOYER!" And I reiterated " the names of the 3 "esp G"...
CLEAR THE FOYER!
My head covered, and... I can't do otherwise... Like Samson, not only was he covered by the Lord, ( by not cutting his hair/covering) but also had responsibility obligation to fulfill what he was told.. Even tho I knew it could be to my detriment!
That IS the secret of my strength btw... By the not compromising of the order given me by "The Man" my covering was not cut, I had no choice but to follow orders!
So the very next service this thing came into play. "E" was out of town, they came in church late (as usual) I could tell with chips on shoulders (as usual, esp when "E" not here) short time later, she goes out.
So I wait quite awhile, and knowing others have gone out too and not come back, and (as usual) shes got a few standing there listening to whatever she is saying.
Knowing I cant just ignore the congregating out there, I must do something, so I go out and a couple immediately scurry back in, then one, wanting to show she aint intimidated by me, stays with her trying to ignore me, so I remind her that D's wants all to be in service and not in foyer. So there the verbal notice has been given! She darts into the bathroom leaving G leaning up against the wall in foyer. Thats where I leave her alone.
So a few minutes later I go out thru the foyer as a warning shot kinda, hoping she would take the silent hint she needs go back in, (Id really rather and probly be better if I just ignore her as long as shes no affect on others, but I'm under orders " CLEAR THE FOYER!")
So she "double dog dares me" to say something to her and I do, I tell her the same as I told the other, and she says, "Who says?"
I say "E"and "D"She said oh he does, does he? Well I'm standing right here my back hurts!
As I'm walking away I decide to say something...
"I don't see why anybody would come to church just to hang around the foyer"...
Boy did she give mad!
She stomps back into service and a few minutes later the whole family fell followed her out the front door.
So immediately after service I went to "D"
And told him exactly what I did and by his authority.
And he left me a drift all by myself.
Oh! we don't do nothing but ignore those kind...
I knew when "E" got home, I was going to be in a lot of trouble:-/
Well, he called me a couple days after he got back.
Said the "H" wanted a counsel, he wants to beat you up real bad.
She told him that I said that "if you don't go back into church you got to leave!"
"E" told me to get with "H"...he does not want to have a council and fix it to where we don't have to do that.
After two days of pleading
" I cant do this on my own"
I have this dream...
I leaving the grounds at the entrance on Straight Street, in my Durango, pulling boat on a trailer behind me.
I see that E and D notice me as I am pulling out...
I'm in the boat just floating,
Suddenly! This huge boat appears out of nowhere...
Then little splashes all around even hitting me as if maybe hail stones!
Many little boats coming at me, filled with angry people, and they start chasing me!:-/ - I feel a knowing that I am in a place I'm not supposed to be...
Very scary as I'm moving away from the crowd backwards. I have no motor or any oars, I don't know how but, I'm staying just far enough away from them that they don't catch me.
Then I feel my feet touch bottom( for that's how I suppose I was moving.
Then just as soon as my feet hit shore on the other side of the river, I see all their boats stopped, as they are all looking at me, angrily then their faces all change to calm. :-| :-)
I walk on beach as I notice I landed right in the middle of their camp. I'm pleading and explaining to an older man with white hair and beard, that I was doing nothing wrong, and I didn't know I wasn't to be there...
Then he said,
"We know why you were there"
So the next day was Wednesday, "E" let me know that the confrontation is going to happen I need to go ahead and face my accuser.
So I walk in the back door and walk over the the round table, "H" says "can I talk to you" So He and I went out the side door, and he was ready for a fight.
Before he could say anything I said...
That I am sorry and I should not have said anything and please forgive me I was wrong.
It's totally let all the air out of His sails, he said, so you admit that you told her to leave church if you didn't come inside, I said no I don't admit to that, but I have no defense I'm sorry You will never have that problem out of me again.
Please forgive me.
He said that I know that you are lying, because she said....
I said I am sorry I shouldn't have said anything...please forgive me.
Then I asked him "do you forgive me"
He said "yes" I said, "thank you"
There was nothing more to be said!
We went back in and have lived happily ever after.
One of many things came of that:
one is... Is good for me but not them.
I get to ignore her in the foyer from now on,
I am not responsible for that anymore.
another is... He took me out there to fight, not physically I guess, he wanted to Entrap me with my words. I discovered that after it was over, I'm not quick enough to have outsmarted him as this developed... But before I went into it I think the Lord gave me what I needed to say.
The word of God says if at all possible follow peace with all man.
"E" said he wanted to avoid a council.
I knew that she accused me of saying something that I did not say.
I will do as Jesus would do if He were me in this circumstance.
Without compromising the truth.
I would not defend myself and just asked to be forgiven for my unwise use of words.
he even tried to intimidate me.
"so you admit you told her to leave church if she would not come in?"
I said no I don't admit to that.
That is when he said "I know you are lying because she said"
but I'm still sorry please forgive me.
I looked at him and said OK? He said OK!
The thought later came to my mind.
The weapon that he attacked me with were carnal. (intimidation, pride, arrogance, and flat-out called me a liar!)
The weapons I came with were not carnal (humility, integrity, righteousness)
With what he hurled at me, would have opened himself up if it happened to him to where he would defend himself from being called a liar, and once I was on the defense he could hurl some more stuff at me on the offense it's the only way he knows how to fight and win he has to bring them down to his level so he can stomp them, and have something to go back and tell "E"
But with all the battles in my life before and since I've been here, that I have lost.
That's how they were lost.
And yet another thing I discovered...
Concerning my covering
As I mentioned Samson
The Secret of his strength was in his not cutting of his hair/covering
I have caught alot of critisism and even condemnation,
For being such a stickler to enforcing the rules(more like just reminding the few that dont want to be ruled)
But the secret to my strength/ardency is that I operate under the covering of those that are over me who gave me the job.
When the man tells me to do something.
Which is as this and most others, I have no choice but to follow orders.
In my little realm as usher, which I do not operate outside my bounderies, so whoever it is even if it's an apostle, they must obey them that have the rule over them even if its an usher directing them to go to sit to eat!
So if I am under orders to advise people what the rules are, whether they obey the rules or not I am under orders therefore if I don't tell them I break the rule!
It would be easier and not say anything like everybody else does
But I am bound to my orders!
THATS! The secret to my strength